''Happy 4th, July Everybody! ''

Alright, folks, I’m cutting out for the weekend and won’t be back until Tuesday, so please enjoy this magical slice of patriotism in my stead.

In the meantime, don’t forget to enter The Superficial Banner Girl Contest or comment on how retarded I am for not noticing this Katy Perry pic was missing a tattoo on her wrist. (Short answer: I have a penis.)
Can I change that to “Long answer?” Or, no, wait: “Herculean.”
Drink responsibly,
- The Superficial
P.S. South Africa’s one of those countries that cuts off your hand for minor offenses, right? Say yes.